forty-six

“I Love You”

I didn't say it while we were together, because I didn't feel like it was welcomed. I said it...maybe twice; and each time, I heard that empty-room gong in my heart, but I ignored it and moved on. Maybe, if you didn't see how much it impacted me to say it, you wouldn't think I really meant it.

But, when I thought it was the end (and found out later, that it really was the beginning of the end), I told you, because I didn't want the curtain to close without you understanding that that's how I felt.

And since that fateful meeting, I think it all the time. And I know that it shines out of my eyes. But you've certainly drawn a line and it is clear that you don't want to hear it from me.

And, yea, I'm wallowing a little bit. I miss you.
I have to be strong in so many other areas...I am going to let myself be a little sappy over missing you. You are certainly worth it.