fifty-nine

My Path Leads to a Jump of Faith

Today is the day I’ve worked my last official day at a full time position that I’ve loved and nutured for over two years. I’ve left for various reasons, but the biggest one is the most important: it is time to pursue my passion, my path. It’s been tugging at me full force since this past summer. It’s been a dream since high school; but it has been a truth, a statement of fact, waiting for me to give it time and attention. And now is the time.

I had a breakfast meeting with my Boss, a heart to heart. And I told him that hedging my bets and hiding behind any other reason would dishonor my current calling. And I didn’t want to go down that way. I am either going to commit and fail; or commit and succeed. There’s no middle ground here; no safe spot. There’s only trusting in Faith and Love that the path that has been illuminated a step at a time, is the correct path. And even though it seems crazy, I can only trust that I am meant to walk forward…in faith, in love. I will own it and sink everything I’ve got, everything I’ve learned into it.
Because, only then, will I be able to answer to myself – proudly – at the end of it.

I wrote this in March 2010. It was true then; and it is most certainly true today.

In this moment, there is nothing else to do.
There is no where else to go.
No where to hide; no where to run.
Any attempt to escape would brand me a hypocrite-
A chicken, a coward.
And so, with a deep breath-
I look forward,
And my sight follows the path
Until it ends abruptly at the cliff.
All I see is air- space.
All I hear is the wind- the emptiness.
But my heart believes in more, in You.
In the quiet before any action, I breath:
“I trust in You; I believe You are there.”
I run; and at the edge I leap-

—
And the whole time, I’ve been safe in Your hands.